Comments:Friendship Knows No Age

[Oliver]

What do you think :3.

Personally I thought I could have made it more exciting, but it was mostly mean't for you to see how she starts out rather then how she survives.

Anyway, this is my first ever full length chapter writing, so i'm intrested to see how you all think I did. Thanks for any criticism, but please tell me why you think what you do.

It doesn't help me if all you say is:

"This sux lol u failz @ lief"

[Vahu]

I thought the story was rather well written overall. The way the story opens up and how you described the characters was very well told. The small details about the towns and the hunting grounds really describes the atmosphere of Darlow. I especially liked the way you detailed Tara's very first battle, in the way that showed her skill level as far as fighting and fending for herself. Overall, the story got me excited for the next part of the story.

Keep it up!

@offtopic: I'm not sure why nearly everyone decided to sticky their threads buts it really annoying when theres a new post in a non stickied thread and you have to search for it. Your story will still get noticed...

[Oliver]

Thanks!

Actually it's kind of funny because I wasn't sure why they were all stickied either xD! It took me awhile to figure out there's three pages of threads...

[lordphoenix]

I'm rather impressed with the quality of the writing, and await more. You're quite descriptive.

[Sur Realis]

This sux lol u failz @ lief

Not really. I like to read a lot of fiction and fanfiction, FF.net being one of my favorite places. Sadly, though, not many people have a sense for writing, and give nothing in the way of trying to paint an image in the reader's mind. I mean, I once read a story that was an entire one sentence long (which turned out to be a run-on in the first place), which is kind of sad and makes me wonder how people get past school with such a horrible ability for writing.

Your story was pretty well built; the little things made me happy, like how you didn't make five people talk in a single paragraph. I like seeing different paragraphs, an entire story written in one paragraph is silly and usually not worth my time. You included little bits of details to build up an atmosphere, to portray the world. It was well organized, and everything I could want from an excellent story, save for a few grammar problems. (If I recall correctly, you lay something to rest, and something lies at rest (in a reclined position), so in that last paragraph it would by 'Lying'.)

[hawkus1]

welcome to ffthg btw , seeing you are new to the scene these days , as you stated in an older post

I liked tara's sub quest idea , of wanting to know what has become of her father , leading into the main quest of currently finding the mark of Dainan , interesting idea to incorporate a personal quest into the story.

If your descriptive story continues a few more chapters , ill be reading all of your adventures! Good ... so far!

heres hoping the server returns to life soon , so we can party together sometime, hope to see you soon!

[Oliver]

@everyone: Thanks guys xD!

@sur: Ya, I have alot of spelling and grammar issues, and I thank god for the fact that this forum actually has a SPELL CHECK button. It's saved me at least 100 times within the first part alone.

@hawkus: I'm glad you liked it, I thought It would be creative to give an actual reason why a Lirean would bother coming to Dainan. Since in-game people all over the world start in Dainan, it's like, 'ok everything is weak here but why start here...why not at home...'.

Once again thanks for all the comments it's good to here I please the masses

EDIT2:

Second part is up. This time about Zether. I