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Post by Crazy Cloud on Dec 22, 2005 11:49:07 GMT -6
K, post your comments here.
Next Chapter will be up around midnight when I wake up.
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Post by Kija on Dec 22, 2005 12:03:35 GMT -6
It sounds interesting so far. I like the small amount of comedy blended with it as well; it is something less serious that is mostly done. Although, the story would be much better if the person expressed his thoughts more. It is mostly just him saying he is doing something or going somewhere. I would love to know what he is thinking.
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Post by Crazy Cloud on Dec 22, 2005 16:49:58 GMT -6
just woke back up, going to work on the next chapter after dinner. Thx for the advice kija, I'll work his thoughts into the story in each chapter, didn't realize I didn't. Chapter 2 is gonna be CC's first shot at battle. I know how this and chapter 3 is going to go, and the ending battle. Hah, wait til you see that. I threw some forshadowing in the first chapter of how this thing is going to end. Stick around and find out.
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Post by greenlantern on Dec 22, 2005 17:56:37 GMT -6
I started to read it, but it was too long, and the longest thing i've read in years were the first 180 pages of nuklear power's 8-bit comics, but I might get around to finishing the first one by the time Ch5 comes out. =รพ
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Post by Crazy Cloud on Dec 24, 2005 14:29:29 GMT -6
hahaha k thx.
Chapter 2 is up.
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Post by Constantine on Dec 24, 2005 15:11:17 GMT -6
Good job CC. And I think I know who one of your mystery characters are....
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Post by Kija on Dec 30, 2005 1:15:16 GMT -6
I like the third chapter a lot more, but everything felt so fast.
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Post by Crazy Cloud on Dec 30, 2005 1:33:42 GMT -6
It did go sorta fast... but i don't believe i could have written it to be longer than it was in the sense of it's timeframe. CC isn't really that experienced in fighting, nor am I really in this kind of story writing, but I think it went a heck of alot better than the first two chapters.
I'm gonna sorta dread putting CC in his first party cause it's most likely gonna be dull because of the lack of character development, because of the pace i want the story to go.
Guess I'll just have to see, thx for the quick comment though, it gave me a new idea already.
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Zaiyu
Explorer
What is a man?! A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk! Have at you!
Posts: 46
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Post by Zaiyu on Jan 1, 2006 0:09:03 GMT -6
I like how this story's going so far. The third chapter went by very nicely. Way to put the hammer to the head, eh?  (Sad pun, I know.) |
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Post by Constantine on Jan 1, 2006 12:20:10 GMT -6
Flashy sparks eh? I wonder who that could've came from....Hmmmm?
;D ;D
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Post by Bolt on Jan 14, 2006 15:55:50 GMT -6
This is comfuseing me beyond belif O.o
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Post by Kija on Jan 14, 2006 23:13:49 GMT -6
It is getting much better. The letter scene was nice.
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(Sad pun, I know.)
