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Post by Sur Realis on Mar 25, 2008 16:52:06 GMT -6
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jakez
Investigator
10%
Posts: 5
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Post by jakez on Mar 25, 2008 16:56:11 GMT -6
wow the first part was good ... ima post here and not on the story page it may ruin the effect lol
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Post by Sur Realis on Mar 25, 2008 16:59:09 GMT -6
Thank you for posting here instead. Is there anything that seemed off to you, or that just sounded horrible that you think I should fix?
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Post by kyoshi123 on Mar 25, 2008 17:01:05 GMT -6
wow nice but was u talking about posting sumthin about me?
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Post by Sur Realis on Mar 25, 2008 17:03:12 GMT -6
Uhm. No? *Blinks.* I honestly don't even know who you are, mate.
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InfiniteWisdom
Hunter
The Banished
100%
The world suffers from selfishness,don't be a victim, have wisdom...
Posts: 104
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Post by InfiniteWisdom on Mar 25, 2008 19:40:09 GMT -6
I enjoyed it indeed. I bid you the best if you are to become a writer. The composition of your work seems thought out; consistent and flows smoothly. The assortment of the vocabulary is also impressive since it keeps the tongue sizzling. Through my perspective, i see that your input in this took some time and careful consideration and seems like a journal entry (historians view). The journal entry seemed concise with flavor/seasoning and if i were to have found it in modern day, i wish i would have found more. I would appreciate a more robust conclusion that leaves the reader in question. Are we rating? This surely is a 9 out of 10 for perfection can only come from me,hahah just kidding, but if it did have my name written to it, i would give it an extra point. ~InfiniteWisdom PS: I am astonished at your capabilities, and i DO(not can) see great things in your future.
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